Monday, March 18, 2013

Truth and #confessiontime...

Soooo now that I have different forms of social media, ill explain what I'll be using each for!

I’ll be using my blog to update with longer posts and updates! More informational updates or fitness and health related things!

I'll be using my YouTube for random vlogs about my bikini competition journey, and other things like q&a’s, workouts, reviews, cooking, etc!

Ill use this tumblr to post everything I post on my INSTAGRAM ( for those of you who donlt have Instagram! PLUS other daily things, more quotes, maybe random updates on foods I eat, workouts, etc! More of a daily blog than my blogspot blog!!

This will be where all my random rantings and thoughts will be :P

Thanks for following my lifestyle journey fitfam! I love you ALL! <3

If you follow me on my instagram, then you probably saw this post:

"Confession time: been pretty slacking this past week with foods and workouts... I've kinda lost my own motivation! Sorry to let you all down but I'm not always on point either! School was stressful with tests and reviews so I missed workouts (no excuse I know), this ebook is making me taste all these clean treats (still no excuse), and I've just been slackingggg. I've been giving myself excuses and reasons for slacking and thinking its ok.. Like "I have 14 more weeks left" or "eh it won't affect me thatttt much" etc etc. but in all honesty, I gotta take my own advice!! Stop getting in the habit of puttin things off, stop thinking that these little things WILL add up over time... A #randomthoughts of Josie this morning! I even thought of backing out of my bikini competition because of certain things (LENGTHY: but ill put the reasons why in a blog post this week!) however I'm still going to do it and go for it! Just needed to post this pic today, I CAN DO IT! YOU can do it!! You have to BELIEVE in your power to change and get motivated and go out there and kick some serious fat in the a$$! Even when you have days/weeks/times of low motivation, and slacking in the lifestyle, you have to pick yourself up, KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS, WANT to do it, and then simple, DO IT!  again, you don't fail until you completely give up. DONT DO IT. Also, the dessert volume of my ebook may have to be finished early.. There aren't as many recipes as I had hoped butttt if I keep making any more tasty desserts and eating them(been baking like 2-3 a day!) ill blow up like a whale! "

So yeah, basically the past week following my spring break [which ALSO was a bad week with workouts and eating] didn't go so well... that makes 2 weeks in a row of not doing so well... but you know what? IT'S OK! It already happened... it's in the past. Nothing I can do about it now! My excuses were weak too... just busy with school, and trying to get this ebook out to you all, made me bake a LOT, and therefor eat and taste a lot haha [guiltyyyy]. 
Time to MOVE ON. I'm holding tons of water weight and I do feel puffy! But nothing that getting back to routine can't fix right?! 

Oh yeah, I mentioned that I was thinking about backing out of my bikini competition journey... 
Ahhh sighhh I had soooo many reasons for doing this competition and prep, lots and lots of reasons, but the main one that I'll share with you here is because I really wanted to get control of my eating habits, aka 
I thought 

"Hey, if I can get through this prep and hard tough journey, then YEAH I can do anything! I can refuse junk food, stop at 1 cookie, not eat the whole box of [insert delicious naughty food of choice]"

Unfortunately though, it seems that this hasn't happened... I'm still struggling with binging... During spring break I found myself going back to old ways, eating everything I could get my hands on.. and now back at school, I'm still having hard times with control. So I thought,

"Is this comp really helping me achieve that goal I set for myself? Or is it just making me crave MORE because I'm restricting and is it completely making me do what I'm trying NOT to do?"

And while it is true, that it is NOT helping as of now.... I think I'm still going to go through with it... Ah I don't know... it's such a mental struggle... I honestly don't know what to do... That's right guys


I am torn now.... 1 of any of these things could happen:
  1. Continue this journey hoping that I can find this control that I crave and yearn for, hoping that I'll reach my goal...
  2. Continue this journey and find myself binging again..
  3. Decide not to compete and just enjoy the healthy lifestyle...
I'm also TERRIFIED of post competition, when it's all over and I get to eat normal healthy lifestyle again... so many horror stories of ladies just BINGING until they're swollen and gain back alll the lost weight again.... and I feel like that will most definitely happen to me...
I know so many of you support me on this ride to my first bikini competition, and I don't want to let any of YOU down.. but I do have to decide what's best for ME. Well it's all in the air right now.. not sure what I'll do.... Will be thinking it over the next few days/weeks etc....

But as of now, I AM STARTING FRESH. Back on the clean eating train after the past few weeks of slacking. I'm just going to continue healthy eating, working out, and see what I decide and where I'm at with the bikini competition journey...

To be continued....



  1. Everyone did it but some is luckily can handle things easier and some are don't but as i read your post you are one of the lucky person can handle thing right. And thanks to your post hope it can motivates others too.

    God Bless!

  2. I totally know what youre feeling, I had an awful 2 weeks where I just ate everything...foods that I normally dont even like! just eating to eat, not eating for fuel or eating anything thats nutritious. Like a whole jar of pb will not help my butt grow (maybe ;) lol jk). I was at a really low point and didnt know if I'd be strong enough to go through with this prep. What helped me was to put everything in a positive light, what im going to get out of this comp. its not about the food, its about the journey. setting a goal and working towards that. Sure you cant eat chocolate, pb, casein treats every night but those things will never go away. Instead of thinking about what you cant have, think about what youll be gaining. I never have suffered from an ED myself so Im sorry if my advice doesnt help. But I do know that we all benefit from a little self-love. you inspire many people on IG, me being one of them, but like you said you need to think of YOURSELF! sometimes that pressure can get tough when thousands of people are looking at you, dont think about them think about you! Whatever choice you decide to make visualize yourself doing it. whether it be on stage or just being ripped :) "Successful people are constantly projecting achievements and imagining themselves in the moment"-my teammate Dee Brown said this to me last week when i called her after I ate everything in site. its stuck with me A LOT and i think about it daily. anyways sorry for my novel, i have been thinking about starting a blog myself so I have somewhere to put my rants lol. fine me IG my names fit_nae :) keep your head up girl you got this!

    1. thanks soo so so much babe your comment helped a lot :] yeah still contemplating it over.... but i do have to do it more for ME... even though i know i'll let some down, it is mainly about my health and sanity you know?
      ah but i'm glad that you're ding well and have gotten back on track! and i wish you ALLLL good luck and the best with your own journey and prep! <3

  3. Josie I totally understand you. Why do we have to let unhealthy foods control our lives. Its hard and whatever you decide to do I support you. I still like reading your posts and seeing your pics on instagram. Sometimes I maybe putting a cookie in my mouth and then I see your pic and it makes me put it down b/c I think that it is going to do NOTHING health wise for me. You still are an inspiration and those girls that go through with the NPC bikini contests have some real real real guts. I don't know how they do it because I know I couldn't do it myself. Good Luck! Remember to do what is right for you and now for everyone else.

    1. thank you so much love! <3 i definitely will be thinking it over... and whatever the outcome is it'll be for ME! and i'll be happy either way. thank you for your kind words and support!!! <3

  4. Hi Josie!, it's Edelee, I follow you on IG. Girl, honestly, I personally know people who joined bikini competitions and they gained more than what they lost during their prep, all because of binge eating. I think that you made a good decision of pulling out of the competition. You did what was good for you and your health. you're still an inspiration to me and everyone.