Monday, April 21, 2014

Update on My Life: No more IIFYM, Hello Intuitive Eating

I know I haven't done a "What's Happening In My Life" long wordy post in a while... so I guess I'll do one now and update you all on what I've been doing these past few months!

If you don't know my story, here's a quick snapshot:
  • Summer 2012: Restrictive Low Carb Low Calorie Eater - lost substantial amount of weight, but became weak, skin and bones, moody, etc etc
  • Fall 2012: Started weight training, binging started to appear due to restrictive eating patterns in the past, and due to a personal trainer putting me on a rigorous exercise routine and only 1000 calories a day. Struggled with binging for quite a while. And not just the occasional overeating. It was the binging like "stay at home to avoid friends and just sit in your kitchen and EAT" kind of binging, or the "buy a loaf of bread, a tub of cottage cheese, some peanut butter, and then finish it all in less than 2 days" kind of binging.
  • Jan - April 2013: Decided to do a bikini competition, but then backed out due to my lack of discipline with foods and binging still occurring. I would try to get "on track" and on a "perfect diet" again, which may have lasted a few days, but due to that mindset and restricting, the binging cycle just CONTINUED. And it definitely wasn't pretty. 
  • April to June 2013: Ate anything I wanted and didn't work out, but binging wasn't AS bad. I still overate, but my body was getting use to not being restricted anymore. So I just ate "normal" people food and LIVED, but the weight was creeping up, and I got to one of the highest weights I'd ever been.
  • July 2013 to September 2013: Got back on track because I was tired of being sick and tired of what I was doing to my body and what I was seeing in the mirror. Started tracking macros and got to my ideal body composition, not too lean, not too not lean, the perfect medium for me. I thought I finally "made it".
End of Summer 2013
  • October 2013 to Now - 2014:
I stopped counting macros around the end of 2013, with school and social life and friends and going out, counting macros kind of seemed impossible a lot of the time! Over the summer it was so much easier to count macros when I was home with the parents because I cooked my own food and we didn't really ever go out too much. But with the new atmosphere and change in routine, it seemed like keeping up macro counting wouldn't be possible for me. I know for others it is TOTALLY possible! But I just couldn't stick with it anymore! Not to mention the fact that I met a new guy (teehe) and with the relationships comes more going out for dates and more food and... weight gain.

Yes I had bad days, some "too-much-food" days and some "Eh I don't wanna workout days". At first, I didn't know how to smoothly transition from counting to not counting.
The binges came back and I hated it...:
"After getting through all that and thinking I made it, I'm back to square 1?!"
It was a terrible feeling. I had gained weight again and was sick and tired of yo-yoing.. especially since I was supposed to be a role model for all you lovely wonderful people reading my blogs and following my instagram!

Then I read the book "Intuitive Eating" over Winter Break 2013 and realized everything it took to be an intuitive eater, and all the bad "dieting" habits I needed to break. I highly suggest everyone get this book and give it a read, it has helped me SO SO SOOOO much.
I started mending my mind, in order to mend my body and my habits. I began the whole process of eating intuitively.. not caring about carbs, fats, proteins, just listening to my body. Eat when hungry.. stop when full. It was tough at first, I couldn't tell when I was truly hungry or not, so of course I had overindulgence moments, but I knew it was a learning process. It would take time. Sure there would be initial weight gain, but our bodies would adjust.
And that's what it did.
I went to Vegas for spring break 2014, and did not eat "healthy" most of the time, but came back actually weighing less than when I left! Because I would eat what I craved, but I wouldn't OVER eat. I know I say that weight doesn't matter, because really you should base progress on how you feel and measurements instead of your gravitational force on a scale, but still, it was a weird feeling seeing that on the scale!
This made me come to the conclusion:
A cookie will not make you fat.
A piece of cake will not make you fat.
A whole box of cookies may cause you to gain fat. A whole cake may cause you to gain fat.
But if everything is practiced in MODERATION, then it is not as damaging as everyone makes it to be!

People always have the "all or nothing" mindset:  
"oh I ate a cookie.. might as well destroy the whole cookie jar... oh I ate some ____, 
might as well finish it all off!"

NO. Moderation is your friend. Moderation will get you through. Moderation allows you to eat what you want, enjoy what you want, and still be on the enjoyable lifestyle change journey.

Of course, I'm not saying I'm perfect. I still overindulge sometimes, grab more than a handful of chips, ignore that voice in my head when it says "eh I'm not hungry" and eat anyways. I mess up. But not as bad as I used to, and that's progress for me. I'm free from counting and from numbers, and I'm just LIVING and enjoying life.

Trust me, there are some days where I want to go back to counting macros to truly hit my goals, but then I think about "What will happen when I DO go back to it? Will it backfire again like it did last time? I Don't want that at ALL..." So then I snap out of it.
I'm going to keep it intuitive for the rest of my life I think.
We shouldn't be ruled by numbers.
Especially if we're not competing or anything, and we're just living regular normal lives, there's no need for us to get to a specific low leanness or body fat!
Just LIVE, be healthy most of the time, always be active, and practice moderation!
That's what I'm doing currently and I'm loving it.
Some days are better than others.
But like I said, it's a slow learning process.
And I'm slowly but surely getting to my goals, not just physically, but mentally as well.

My "diet" consists of healthy food and treats :) And I'm lovin it.

<3 Josie


  1. Love this post! Thanks for sharing your fitness journey. I tend to only lose weight and get back on the fitness grind when there's a special occasion, like a wedding, or a trip to Vegas where I know I'll be showing more skin and wearing fitted dresses. But this time, I'm trying to lose weight and maintain it all year long. All I want to lose is 10lbs, I got my workout schedule completed for the week and today I plan to do some meal prep to have food at work and I'm not tempted to eat the morning pastries or afternoon cookies. Slow progress is better than no progress and every day is a new day to start getting healthy. Thanks so much for the inspiration. IG:mzcyn

    1. <3 <3 thank you for following love!! YOU CAN DO IT! don't think about all or nothing, think of it as small changes everyday! or smarter changes! it may not happen quickly like when you used to diet down for those occasions, but the slower progress i feel like comes longer maintainable results

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  4. Oh it's been a while since you wrote this - and since we've been in contact, sweets! But this was just what I needed to read! I got the book, but it's really just starring at me - I know it's the way I have to go... but damn it's SO difficult to put trust in my gut! How are things with you, still doing great? Xoxo Marie

    (From Twitter, @MarieKNielsen) <3

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  6. Hey Josie, I'm 21 and I found you a few months ago scrolling through YouTube. I know its highly likely we'll never meet but I wanted to thank you. I've battled disordered eating since 5th grade, the binges, the purges, the self hate, all of it. I was yo-yo dieting for years. After counting calories to drop 30 pounds I went on intuitive eating a few months ago. I didn't know how bad my mental relationship with food was until then. I still compulsively estimate my calories and everyday it's a struggle to not beat myself up over eating one bite too many or maybe even another plate too many. Your story is something I reread alot. It gives me hope that one day I can be a successful healthy intuitive eater who still isn't perfect but is okay with that. You are a living example of perseverance and self love. You are one of my favorite people and I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You give me hope that one day I'll be okay. Thanks girl. All the best to you-Olivia